The Happiness Project

Yesterday I began reading a book I first picked up at Barnes and Noble a while ago. It's titled The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Interestingly, it wasn't the title that drew me in but rather the cover. It may not be advisable to judge a book by its cover, but it is almost always the cover that first grabs my attention. So, here I am reading my library copy of The Happiness Project.

The book begins with an introduction to why the author chose to write such a book. She wasn't depressed, but she didn't feel she was as happy as she should, or could, be. She felt angry a lot of the time, and she realized the impact this was having on her life. So, she set out to research the meaning of happiness and how to add more happiness to her life. After some initial research she decided to borrow an idea from Ben Franklin (she really did a bit of research) and focus on 11 areas that would improve her overall happiness. She would start in January with one area to improve, then add another in February, another in March, and so on until she reached December, during which she would score herself on practicing all 11.

January's theme was Boost Energy (Vitality). She had read that acting as if you feel more energetice can actually make you feel more energetic. She vowed to get to bed earlier and wake up naturally without the use of an alarm. She did this at least one time with success. She bought a pedometer and walked more. She joined a gym. I can relate to this. I go to the gym several times a week and find that it helps tremendously with reducing my stress levels, particularly after work. I've also started waking up earlier to do a brief yoga session. I have found that this results in a smoother transition into my day. Plus, I have added several days of swimming before work. That definitely makes me feel more energized and ready to start my day. She also decided to stop wasting time thinking about all the things weighing her down and went on a closet cleaning rampage. Four garbage bags later she felt free-er and calmer. From creating a sense of order, she felt more peaceful and focused. I plan to try this during my spring vacation as I sweep from one end of the house to the other, getting rid of stuff that could be better used by others rather than collecting dust in my house.

February's theme was Remember Love (Marriage). She realized she was a "nagger". She also realized she didn't like being a nagger because it didn't make her feel good (and we all want to feel good). After one incident involving a pile of Valentine's Day cards and her husband's refusal to help address and seal them, she realized she felt better when she chose to complete something herself instead of nagging than when she nagged her husband to do them. I call this Taking One for the Team.
She also noticed that her husband hardly ever praised her for things she did or let her know he appreciated her. After much contemplation and more research, she decided to stop expecting praise for things she did. Instead, she vowed to do things for herself without expecting other people to react in a particular way. An interesting observation she had was that when she was happy her husband was also happy, and he would do things to try to make her even happier (take notes, ladies!); but when she was unhappy her husband would go into a "funk".
I found this to be an interesting perception. It makes sense because when people are happier they want to do things for other people, but when they're unhappy it's very easy to shut oneself off from the world and become more self-centered. For today I vow to remain focused on my attitude toward all people I encounter. If I can be helpful in spreading a little more cheer in this fearful, angst-ridden world, then I'm willing to do my part.