Well, let's face it. We all come in contact with people who would love to take control of our lives. They want us to be certain places at certain times, they expect us to behave in certain ways, they expect us to understand them, to cater to them, to do favors for them, and the list goes on and on. It can be exhausting trying to please the people in our lives. The boss wants us to chair a committee, lead a project, take on an extra duty. He asks, we feel obligated, we say yes even though we really don't want to do it. We are afraid to say no. Why?This book suggests that we are all exposed to behavioral patterns from an early age that shape our beliefs and thoughts. We take those with us into adulthood, even if they don't serve us. As a result we become anxious, stressed, depressed, ultimately feeling that we have no control over our own lives. So what to do?
Learn when to say yes and how to say no. Similar to how we build fences to define and protect our property/yards, it's beneficial to learn how to protect our lives and personal space by establishing boundaries for those we come in contact with, otherwise we risk becoming doormats and stretching ourselves so thin that we may feel we lose sight of who we are as individuals. It's ok to say no and still maintain personal relationships. Actually, personal relationships can be enriched by establishing boundaries because it allows us room to grow individually, which in turn helps us to deepen and strengthen our relationships because we have more to give (since we're not giving all of us to everyone that demands/expects it) to those that we choose to share our life with. It's empowering to be able to choose who gets our time.
Overall, this book gets just an 'okay' vote from me. It is laden with biblical references that seem forced and often irrelevant. Connections were unclear or non-existent. In my opinion, the book would have been better if the biblical references were removed. So, if/when reading, focus on the deeper content.
